He kissed a someone with a penis
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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