so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
