Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
