Will you blow on my dice?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
