So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
