upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
