she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
