oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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