Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
