Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize