she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
