Duck Duck Cougar?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
