I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
a search helicopter?!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
