My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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