I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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