i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
