Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There r osticjed everywhere
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
