Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
