I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
