you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
