When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
