wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
