party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize