I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
