I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize