just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
