I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
