Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
