Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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