Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
