and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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