God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
