You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
