i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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