you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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