the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
