is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
