In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
false alarm. still invincible.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
