I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
