Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
