I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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