Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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