so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
