Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
