dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
