He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
