I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
