I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
