Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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