How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
