doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my being single is dangerous.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
