News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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