I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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