I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
