He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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