Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
you never un-have a 4some
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
wow bdsm is so cute
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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