Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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