I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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