it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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