it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
