Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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