I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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