I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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