OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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